As a tribute to the very funny VC Non-Admissions and the follow-up Founder Non-Admissions, I offer to you my own take on this — from an angel investor perspective. Sorry that mine aren’t in a cool presentation form with pictures and such. I don’t have that kind of talent.
10 Things An Angel Investor Will Never Say
1. I really want to support entrepreneurs — but just those that are going to make me money.
2. I dread having to explain your business idea to my spouse (who can veto any deal).
3. I don’t really have enough stake in your company to spam my network on your behalf.
4. I was lying when I said that some of my best friends were VCs. Even VCs aren’t best friends with VCs.
5. I have no idea what the hell you’re talking about 50% of the time. What’s a socially-semantic mobile platform for non-virtual currency mean? (Oh, it’s an iPhone/Facebook payment app).
6. The other 50% of the time, you have no idea what you’re talking about. Anti-dilution provisions in a termsheet are not about beer.
7. How the public market did last week does impact my decision making.
8. I like to invest in cool startups because it helps make up for high school.
9. I don’t understand what half the things in the funding agreement mean either, but I’m betting that most of them are to protect me, not you.
10. I really didn’t put the check in the mail the day I said I did. I was golfing that day. I sucked.
11. I’m in it to mostly have fun. If I wanted to do unpleasant work, I’d have my own startup.
Feel free to add your best ones in the comments section, or if you prefer, you can tweet me @dharmesh.